I have given up trying to understand women…specifically black women, who are my preference.
No matter how much I try I cannot understand some of the things black women say and do. I don’t understand the mating habits of gay (or straight) black women. For most of my 30 years on this earth I have seen mostly dysfunctional, ass backwards, nonsense from black women when it comes to relationships.
It doesn’t matter if black women are gay or straight. It’s the same script different cast.
Too many are having kids by irresponsible bum ass niggas. Too many are content with having babies out of wedlock. Too many overlook red flags staring them straight in the face. Too many are seeking superficial stupid nonsense (even I am guilty of doing this in the past). Too many are bringing baggage into their relationships.
My beef with black lesbians today stems from the oppressive gender roles many have embraced. This is something I’ve probably dealt with off and on since I was a teenager and started dating.
For reasons that go beyond my comprehension, black lesbians tend to adopt heterosexual gender roles in relationships which seems quite odd considering the same sex dynamics of lesbian relationships.
What exactly do I mean?
Many black lesbians insist that one partner be dominant while the other is submissive. Many black lesbians insist that one partner be a stud while the other a fem. Well, if you’re a fem attracted to fems you are pretty much assed out 9 times out of 10 because the women you find attractive stay throwing you in the bushes because you don’t carry yourself in a way they find dominant/acceptable. Let me give you an example….
For a brief period recently I was interested in a woman from Miami. This woman is a very pretty fem. My only issue with her was her need to cake a boatload of makeup on her face. Often times I found it distracting because I like a simple pretty woman (think Sanaa Lathan). We clicked but she couldn’t look pass the fact that I look, talk, and act like a woman. I dress like a woman (at times a feminine tomboy….but a woman nonetheless). She couldn’t look pass the fact that I’m just like her physically (i.e., feminine) and my mannerism are that of a woman. The main thing that bothered her about me is the large hoop diamond earrings I rock daily. My earrings drove her up the wall. She insisted that I not wear them around her.
I threw this heifer in the brushes!
I’m not going to be Tupac with a vagina for anyone….least of all someone whose face stayed looking like it was set in clay.
It blows my mind how WOMEN expect other WOMEN to be masculine! It’s almost like these chicks have told themselves that the person they are dating is NOT a woman. Some of them might actually see their partners as something other than women…or at least different from themselves. It’s probably a way to relieve themselves of conflict concerning their sexual orientation (i.e., “I’m not really gay. The person I’m dating looks, talks, and acts like a man”).
I wish there was more research on the mating habits of black lesbians. I honestly believe someone needs to study the warped gender roles adopted in these relationships. It’s very odd to me that so many black lesbians I run across expect me to carry myself like a stereotypical hyper-masculine black MALE but if I was in fact a hyper-masculine black MALE they would 1). find me unattractive and 2). complain about the hyper-masculinity. It makes you wonder why this behavior is accepted by black lesbians, but otherwise frowned upon.