I’m not sure if the word “misandrist” can be used to describe me because I don’t hate ALL men. Really and truly I do not. Truthfully, I only hate African-American men (notice I didn’t say black) and white men (a different post for a different day). However, for the sake of this post I will go ahead and use the label “misandrist.”
Before people go getting their panties in a bunch let me explain exactly how I came to this conclusion and why I feel this way. If you are a black woman, and you’re reading this post, ask yourself if I’m alone in feeling this way or am I just bold enough to admit what many of us feel.
For those of you who have sons and feel some type of way about my personal feelings step out of your emotions for a minute and really hear me. Your (and the previous generation’s) failed parenting is quite possibly the reason why I despise your sons. Every cause has an effect. Perhaps if you raised decent human beings I wouldn’t view them collectively as a fucking nuisance. If this post scares you it’s because you see truth in it.
“But but but…what about the black men in your family?”
What about them? If I felt any differently about most of them as I do your sons this blog post wouldn’t exist. Same crap I see and hear from African American men outside of my family can be seen within my family.
This will be one of the most honest blogs I have ever written. It’s been a long time in the making…
If I had to guess when the hatred entered my heart I would put it around the year 2007. Nothing in particular happened in my life that year. I wasn’t a victim of crime or violence. I didn’t undergo some traumatic life changing event.
Instead, I began taking a deep look at the black community in this country. I began looking at statistics. I began looking at black history. I began reading up on black women’s history. I began to understand that a lot of the stuff I saw from black people…specifically African-American men..wasn’t normal.
I began to recognize that the abusive, toxic, misogyny displayed in everything from music to books by African-American men wasn’t normal. I began to recognize that their culture and unapologetic hateful attitude towards black women wasn’t normal. I began to recognize a whole list of things that African-American men do is not normal compared to collective groups of other men…
What do I mean?
- African-American men will sit around and live off women while letting the state provide for their kids.
- African-American men will go on and on about someone or something holding them back in life when they have done everything in their power to fuck up in life (example, dropping out of high school).
- African-American men sit around and take their anger and self-hatred out on black women and children.
- African-American men don’t give a damn about their physical appearance (example, sagging pants).
- African-American men produce out-of-wedlock kids and leave them in households to be raised by single mothers or by the state.
- African-American men are comfortable buying $150 air Jordans while their fatherless children live in poverty or go hungry.
- African American men steal (or engage in other crime) from their neighbors instead of working to get what they want out of life.
- African-American men take pride in the failure of women who are doing the best they can to support themselves and their families on their own.
- African-American men bypass the things that promote a healthy prosperous community (i.e., marriage, education, and entrepreneurship).
- African-American men use words like “Bitch” and “Hoe” as synonyms for the word “Woman.”
This list could go on and on…
“But but but…these are generalizations!”
Are they really?
It’s come to a point now where I can’t even dispute the shit that is said about African-American men in this country. What can I or anyone else say?
It’s a lie!
It’s the media!
The media has distorted their image!
No one in this country has done more to ruin the image of black men more than African-American men. These assholes hate themselves and it shows in everything from their music to their communities.
If society and enough black women are complaining about the same thing can we truthfully write off destructive counterproductive behavior as just generalizations and stereotypes. Black women have literally been complaining about the same thing for decades now…
Once I came to the conclusion that much of the stuff I see from African-American men is NOT normal a feeling of disgust, loathing, and yes anger, quickly took over. One fact became clear: Their misogynoir against black women gave rise to my misandry.
As a general rule I make sure that I keep my distance from African-American men. With the exception of my father, younger brother, and sprinkle of acquaintances I have little to no contact with African-American men. This is completely by choice. It’s best to keep the walking talking shit stains out of my orbit.
I have never been one of those black women who viewed African-American men as “kings” (kings of what exactly….the ghetto???) If anything I view them as a curse that has been placed on African-American women and children.
A dead-end street.
A retarded child.
Not only are black women often burdened with the task of raising and supporting kids on their own, but more often than not they are burdened with inadequate men who contribute almost NOTHING to their lives, their children’s lives, or society.
If it (whatever it might be) doesn’t have anything to do with rap/hip hop, sports, clothes, pussy, cars, or spending money on bullshit African-American men generally are not interested. They can tell you anything you want to know about rims and the latest pair of Jordans, but if you ask them if they have any investments you’ll be met with silence.
And this my friends is why I can wholeheartedly say I hate them.