On Thursday I had my wisdom teeth removed. At thirty years old, I’m late to the game. I should have had them removed four or five years ago.

Oh well, they are out now. Despite everything I heard it didn’t hurt and I’m not in any pain…though I have stitches in the back of my mouth.

Anyway, I want to bitch and complain about the lack of attraction I feel for black women here in Atlanta. Yeah, I know. You’ve heard this all before, but humor me. It doesn’t get any easier as I age.

Everyone believes Atlanta is so diverse and so full of quality black women. Obviously the word “quality” is subjective because one of my complaints is the lack of quality here.

I don’t run across many women (specifically black women) here that I find physically, mentally, or otherwise attractive.

One reason for this is all the single mothers in this city. I don’t find lesbians with children attractive. Unfortunately, at my age, it is HARD to find a black lesbian who doesn’t come with a flock of fatherless children. I found it hard to find this in my mid-late twenties. It is damn near impossible now.

Another reason for this is I find the culture so many black women have embraced repulsive. Black women here feel completely feminine with a body full of tattoos, weave all over their heads, and a body that is fat as hell/out of shape. They seem to be completely oblivious to the reality that they look a hot damn mess.

It’s quite sad when you think about it.

How many of us can honestly admit that there are characteristics about members of our race that we don’t like? How many of us can admit that we don’t find our own race attractive?

It’s hard to admit.

don’t think my feelings come from a place of self-hate as is the common shaming tactic when someone admits this to themselves. I think it comes from the reality that I hate, hate, hate what has become of popular black culture and how it has influenced the masses of black women. 

I’m interested in cultured, childless, physically attractive, conservative black women. I want a black woman that loves to read. I want a black woman who can hold an interesting conversation about politics, the world, and things happening in the black community. I want a black woman who is conscious of all things around her.

Sigh…