There is one major benefit to living in a city like Atlanta where there is a sizable lesbian and gay population: There is a possibility that the man or woman you like might actually be gay or lesbian.

However, there is a downside as well. If it’s assumed that you are gay or lesbian (the assumption for me is correct) you can also attract unwanted attention as well.

Today I was sitting alone eating a turkey sandwich at Panera while browsing the internet on my phone. I was on my lunch break and for once I decided to eat out. As I was sitting there minding my own business a heavy set black woman approached me. She told me she liked the blouse I was wearing. I politely said thank you. She then pointed out her friend who was sitting in a booth in the corner.

It then dawned on me that the heavy set woman was sent over to pick me up by her friend. I looked over at the woman sitting in the booth and shook my head no. Why? The woman was an older woman, overweight, and physically not my type. The lady that approached me politely backed away and went back to the table with her friend.

I decided to get up and leave.

Sometimes this is flattering. Often times it is uncomfortable….especially if I’m not interested.

I can count on one hand the number of times I have approached a woman. Otherwise, it either happened by chance or they approached me.

Usually women make it known when they are feeling me. A few years back I was at a bowling alley with a friend. We were standing at the bar when I noticed a pretty light-skinned woman staring at me. She was with 2 friends. We made eye contact a few times and it was clear she was waiting for me to step up to the plate.

Unfortunately for her, at this point in my life I was not the approaching kind. So for the rest of the night we gave each other the look before I eventually left with my friend and went home.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in these situations. Usually, I choke. It’s very rare that I get up the nerve to approach a woman. So, when someone approaches me on one hand I’m like okay I see you but then if I’m not interested it’s like okay I don’t want to see you.