This is something I’ve been thinking about for a while now. Why do people internalize other people’s dating preferences? For the most part I believe it comes from feeling unattractive because the people who they find desireable don’t feel the same.
I believe everyone has a right to their individual preferences. I like slim, natural haired, educated, cultured, childless and ambitious black women. They are my preference.
This doesn’t mean I find all others wholesale unattractive. It simply means my ideal mate is a black woman who is slim, natural haired, educated, cultured, and ambitious. My heart skips a beat for these women. Whereas it doesn’t even flutter most of the time for women who aren’t the things I described.
If the next black woman says she likes women with a little weight on their bodies, straight hair, dark-skinned and a good job I can’t and won’t be mad at her because she has a right to like/want what her heart desires. I’m not going to feel some type of way because I don’t fit her preferences. I honestly don’t give a fuck.
There are far too many people in this world who care and internalize other people’s preferences. I don’t understand it. If someone doesn’t want you for whatever reason why not simply move the hell on to someone who DOES find you desirable.
In an ideal world we would all love and like each other without individual preferences, but unfortunately, we don’t live in an ideal world. Some preferences are based on social conditioning. Some preferences are based on self-hate. Some preferences are based on simple attraction. At the end of the day, all of us are entitled to our individual preferences.
I am guilty of rejecting women I don’t find attractive. I believe I have a right to do so. I’m not interested in settling for someone I don’t find attractive. If any woman feels the same about me I feel she is entitled to her feelings as well.
The bottom line is none of us should be internalizing the dating preferences of others. If you find yourself doing this you should do some serious soul searching.