I’m currently engaged in a casual sexual relationship with an older black woman. I have mixed feelings about it. Let me explain…

I swore off casual sex. I had more than enough of that in my twenties and at this point in my life I’m ready to commit myself to one woman for the rest of my life. This is easier said than done. I’ve been forthcoming with my struggle dating black women here in Atlanta. I really don’t feel like ranting about that struggle on this blog. You can dig through the archives of this blog and my old blog for those blogs.

I have needs. One of those needs is having my clit sucked and licked until I squirt a river. I can only give myself an orgasm so many times before the shit gets old. I’m a young sexual woman. I have a healthy desire for sex. Being celibate for years simply because I’m not in a relationship is for the birds.

I met this woman months ago in Piedmont Park. It was a nice day out and I had a desire to get out of the house. I threw on some clothes and pulled my locs back. In hindsight I imagine I was looking like a stud because I simply threw on some baggy clothes, grabbed a book, some sunglasses and headed out the door. *Note, contrary to popular belief, I am not, and never have been, a stud.

I found a swing to stretch out on in the park and I began reading my book. Forty minutes later a petite brown-skinned woman stood in front of me with some of the nicest looking breast I’ve ever seen on a woman. I worked my eyes over the rest of her body. She wore her hair in a natural small afro with comb curls. She was in a sun dress with some scandals. Her face was void of any makeup except for some eyeliner. Yet she was pretty in a very natural way.

Apparently, she’d caught a glance of the book I was reading as she was strolling through the park. It’s a book I bought to educate myself on Roth IRAs. Turns out she is a financial planner. For the sake of this blog, and all future blogs, we will call this woman Dollar Bill.

Dollar Bill is forty-eight years old. She has a twenty year old son who attends college at the University of Georgia. She’s never been married. She’s openly gay having come out the closet in her early 30s despite knowing she was gay in her late teens. Her son is the product of a man who was her college sweetheart.

Last night I spent the night fucking Dollar Bill at her house.

And it was GOOD! She had me moaning and cumming so damn hard that I collapsed afterwards into a peaceful sleep (something that is rare for me without medication) with her naked body wrapped around mine.

I have mixed feeling about Dollar Bill. On one hand I like her and I think she likes me. The problem here is I don’t think our relationship will ever be more than sex. Why? Because Dollar Bill is too damn old to give me children and I doubt she wants to raise more kids herself (we’ve never had this conversation).

I’ve dated older women before. More recently there was one older than Dollar Bill in her fifties. However, I’ve concluded it’s not smart to get emotionally invested in these women no matter how much I may want to do so. We’re usually in two different places in our lives. I want children. They either have children, their children are grown, or they don’t want anymore children. It would never work.

But still…I guess I can enjoy the no string attached pussy. I enjoy the company of older black women far more than those my own age. They tend to be nurturing and settled in life. I find them more appealing in this regard.

Maybe at some point my wife and soulmate might make herself known and I can stop fucking women I have no intention of committing my myself to or marrying. Maybe…