I am a free black woman.

I don’t think I realized just how “free” I am until yesterday when I was sitting on my sofa thinking about my life.

What do I mean by “free”?

I mean I don’t have anything or anyone tying me down. I can get up and go where I please. I don’t have any financial issues that can keep me from living a comfortable life. I don’t have any bills I cannot afford. I live comfortably. I don’t have any major responsibilities. I’m educated and I’m in the prime of my life.

Honestly, I’m blessed in more ways than one.

When I think about the plight of black women in this country it’s not hard to feel blessed. For better or worse, black women all too often carry their burdens, their children’s burdens, their community’s burdens, the burdens of their race, and black men’s burdens.

It really is no wonder why so many black women suffer from depression, high blood pressure, and a number of other health related issues. It probably doesn’t help that black women are also the most socially isolated people in this country and perhaps the world.

Yesterday, I concluded that I have rejected many of the burdens that black women carry. I refuse to carry the load for black men, the black community, the black race, or anyone else that isn’t my spouse or child. I refuse to be a backbone for a community of strangers.

Do you know how liberating it is to toss this shit in the bushes?!? Honestly, more black women should try it!

I know black women collectively cannot “free” themselves without meeting the scorn of people who wish to see black women weighed down by the “backbone” position. Black women dropping the burdens of the black community, black men, and the black race is threatening to some people. Though these people never ask themselves why these burdens are forever dropped on the doorsteps of black women….and never equally dropped on black men.

I say the hell with the naysayers.

We all have one life to live and the smart individuals amongst us live it for ourselves.

To be clear, I do want a wife and children. When the time comes I will settle down in life and release the current freedom I enjoy as a successful, unattached, black woman. Until then I plan to enjoy my life.