This is a real picture of my hair. I took it today after I got home from work just so I can post it on this blog. I’ve been growing my locs for three and a half years.

When I started growing my hair I had an Afro that I periodically grew out and cut off depending on my mood. I’ve been bald. I’ve had a relaxer. I’ve had an Afro and several other natural styles. I’m 32 years old and I’ve been natural since I was 18 years old.

My road to natural didn’t start with a movement (referring to the natural hair movement). It started with stress and depression. I was a freshman at Spelman and my hair was falling out. It was literally littering the floor of my dorm room as my bitch ass roommate pointed out to me one day.

As baldness became a quickly approaching reality I cut off my hair and grew an Afro. That’s when I fell in love with natural hair. It helped that I was surrounded by some of the most beautiful black women who were rocking locs, naturals, and everything in between.

I’m convinced Spelman helped me embrace my natural hair because the thought of wearing my natural hair never even occurred to me until I enrolled at Spelman and my hair began falling out. It wasn’t because I hated my hair or myself. It’s because I never really thought about it up until that point. I was used to nothing but relaxers having had one since I was seven years old. I simply didn’t know any better.

I haven’t looked back since that first big chop. I love everything about natural black hair.

This blog is about the importance of black women’s hair to me. When I talk about my preferences on this blog I always talk about a natural haired black woman. That’s because there is no woman more beautiful to me than one that looks like this…

There is something exotic, majestic, and intoxicating about a black woman who wears her natural hair. It’s immediately arousing to me. When I see a black woman wearing her natural hair I want to walk over and talk to her.

In my mind a woman’s femininity is heavily dependent upon her hair. And since I am attracted to feminine women it really is no wonder why I place such an emphasis on hair.

Black women have the most unique hair in the world. However, it’s a damn shame most us don’t know that and don’t embrace it.

When I see an attractive black woman with a weave I don’t feel the same way I would if I saw the same attractive black woman with an Afro. Yes, I would still think she’s attractive, but it would be followed by this thought: “Damn why can’t she rock her own hair?”

Let’s be honest, there are a number of reasons why black women don’t embrace natural hair. Some black women think their natural hair is ugly and unattractive. Some black women feel their natural hair is unmanageable. Some are just too lazy to care for or learn to care for their natural hair. Some black women are victims of conditioning. Some black women find it hard to navigate corporate America with their natural hair. This list can go on and on…

I’ve heard it all.

Still it’s hard for me to really sympathize at times when I consider the reality that most of the black women who have given me the above excuses don’t even know what their natural hair looks like. A lot of it is bullshit!

Yes, I believe black women should do what makes them happy, but at the same time, black lesbians cannot be mad at me for rejecting what I don’t find appealing.

In my mind if a black woman cannot manage, love, and care for her own hair how the hell can I expect her to manage, love, and care for our daughter’s hair? Self-love and self-assurance is first ingrained in a child by his or her parents. A child that grows up seeing her mother love and care for her hair, features, etc will be more confident in herself and those same features.


I wish to God that black women of my generation grew up seeing images like this…

I believe this would be a non-issue if we were around confident, slim, natural haired black women in our media and entertainment. Coming of age in the late 90s and early 00s all we had was weaved down, mostly light-skinned, booty-shacking, scandalous videos hoes who were wanted and chased equally toxic/brainwashed black men. The classy on-point black women were left on the cutting room floor….victims of a white beauty standard that didn’t include them.

The heart wants what the heart wants. I want a confident, educated, well-rounded, childless, in-shape natural haired black woman.