Days ago I met the most attractive black lesbian I’ve run across in a very long time. Yet her circumstances turned her into the most undesirable and unattractive woman in less than an hour after I met her. Let me tell you about it…

A few days ago while hanging with a friend I was introduced to this woman. My heart immediately skipped a beat when I set eyes on her. She’s about 5’3” tall and if I had to guess she is probably somewhere in the ballpark of 135 pounds. She wears her hair in shoulder length locs. She’s a brown-skinned sister with a southern twang. She is from Alabama. She has the most adorable dimples and she wears a very stylish pair of eyeglasses.

Professionally, this sister is a scientist. Not just any type of scientist. She’s a researcher who studies cell biology. She’s finishing up a PhD. On top of that….she graduated from Spelman College.

When I tell you I was in love….I mean I was in love. She told me she has a girlfriend, but I made up my mind that I didn’t give a fuck. I was going to pursue this woman and pursue her hard. She gave me her number and I immediately began texting her. That’s when she dropped that kryptonite on me…

“I have a child.”

Instantly the spell was broken. I went from looking at this woman like this….

Black Woman Scientist

To looking at her like this…

Out of wedlock children

My heart sunk like rock.

This has been a reoccurring theme in my life in the dating world since I was in my early twenties. I meet a black woman I like and she drops the words, “I have a child” or worse “I have children.”

I can’t even begin to tell you what this does to my soul. I want kids. I want kids with a wife. I don’t want a wife who already comes with kids. I don’t want to be a step-parent. I will never love someone else’s children the way I love my own or those I help bring into this world. I recognized that early on in my life and I’m determined not to put myself in that situation. I am not willing to love, date, or marry a woman with children. These are undesirable circumstances for me.

All of the above is all well and good until you consider the reality that black women seem dumb as fuck, regardless of education, when it comes to protecting themselves against unwanted/unplanned pregnancies. Consider the reality that I’ve been bitching about complaining about this SAME shit since I was in my early twenties right here on this blog. It’s not a situation where I waited until my thirties to start looking for my ideal mate. For the last nine years you’ve read my rants about black women with children.

You would think this would be a non-issue for a black LESBIAN….right? After all black lesbians don’t fuck men…right?


I’ve run across just as many black lesbians with children from past relationships with men as I have straight women. Remember this data I posted on my blog back in 2015…

Black lesbians with children

I can only imagine how high this percentage is NOW in 2018.

Why in the world do black women have such a hard time using birth control? I’m on the shit I’m not even fucking men! I take it for a 3 centimeter fibroid that fucks up my life once a month.

You mean to tell me that the chicks who actually like and desire dick can’t bring themselves to suck down a pill at the same time every day in order to avoid unplanned/unwanted pregnancies? How about that morning after pill that’s readily available if you forget or get caught up?

This nonsense is inexcusable in this day and age.

I’m tired y’all.

I’m tired of running into bullshit. I’m tired of running across otherwise desirable women who come with undesirable circumstances.

And yes….for a woman who has worked hard to build MY castle….when I didn’t have a pot to piss in or window to throw it out…somebody else’s kids and all the crap that comes with them are undesirable circumstances. They are an undesirable headache. They are an undesirable strain on my finances.

Why? Why can’t I find a black woman who truly has her shit together?