“You are the last person I need in my life!”
That’s what I said to Yellowbone yesterday after I walked away from the table we shared at the food court at the mall. I’m quite certain she was surprised, but it is the truth, and I’m glad I said what needed to be said. I’m glad I did the right thing…
This all started on Wednesday when I went to the mall on my lunch break to pick up the diamond necklace I purchased for Sapphire. I planned to give the necklace to her on Labor Day as a token of my appreciation. I enjoy making her feel special, and no expense is too large for the woman I love.
After I picked up the necklace, I ventured over to the food court and purchased a turkey sandwich from Subway. I decided to eat the sandwich right there in the food court. I found a seat and started reading the New York Times through an app on my phone while eating my sandwich. About ten minutes later I was greeted with Yellowbone’s familiar voice…
“Well hello stranger!”
I looked up to find her decked out in a blue and white form-fitting pantsuit. I damn near choked on the piece of sandwich I was in the midst of swallowing.
I haven’t seen or spoken to Yellowbone in years. In fact, the last time I can recall even having any sort of contact with her is when I sent her a Valentine’s gift two years ago. In that time I can only recall thinking of her a hand full of times. For the most part it’s safe to say Yellowbone has been a thing of the past for me.
Still, seeing her standing right in front of me looking as good as ever jolted me. Sapphire, the necklace, and the life we are building were suddenly forgotten as my eyes strolled casual up and down Yellowbone’s body. Once I was able to get the chuck of food that was stuck in my throat down the pipe with Yellowbone patting me on the back (no doubt tickled by my reaction to her presence) I was able to focus long enough to admit to myself that she still looks damn good!
If you could go back, and have a conversation with twenty-something year old me, I would have told you Yellowbone is everything that I think a black woman should be. I’ve only ever felt this way about one other black woman and that was Whitney Houston circa 1992…
Yellowbone can dress her ass off. She takes care of herself physically. Her hair is always on point and her face is always beat. She doesn’t have any out-of-wedlock kids (or kids period). She is a true blue lesbian. She is educated and about her business.
Professionally, I don’t think I’ve ever met a smarter and more driven black woman in my life. In fact, there was a time when I found myself somewhat intimidated by Yellowbone. When we were together it seemed like she was on point while I was steady trying to get my footing in life.
The bad part about it is Yellowbone knows that she is the shit! She has a presence about herself. She has swag and it’s effortless. She’s not conceded in a negative way. She’s conceded in a sexy way that always made her even more fuckable to me.
Oh….and then there was the sex! I can honestly say it was some of the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. There was always alot of passion between us, but it seemed to be even more intense after we fought. After we fought we were guaranteed to be fucking later.
The only real serious issue I ever had with Yellow Bone is her fondest for the streets. Yellowbone loves the nightlife. I’m more of a homebody. The older I got the less I wanted to be in the streets. The same is not true for Yellowbone. She showed no signs of giving up that life, and I guess this is partly why she and I crashed and burned.
I wanted to settle down, get married, and start a family. Yellowbone said HELL NO to that, and HELL NO to my marriage proposal….TWICE. After the second time I determined there wouldn’t be a third time. I told her to kick rocks and that’s how our relationship ended.
So now here she stood….the woman who used to make me so jealous at times that I felt like choking the shit out of her.
Yellowbone: “Uh hey yourself. How are you?”
Me: (Still getting myself together) “I’m good and you?”
Yellowbone: “I can’t complain. Doing some shopping?”
Yellowbone pointed to the Zales bag that sat on the table.
Me: “Yeah…it’s a gift.”
Yellowbone: “Still buying nice jewelry for the women you love I see!”
If I had to guess my caramel-skinned ass likely started turning as red as an apple. Yellowbone knows me too well. As many times as I’ve bought her jewelry she should know my habits. Nevertheless, I didn’t comment.
Me: “What are you doing here?”
Me: “Of course.”
One thing she’s always loved to do is shop.
There was a moment of silence between us. I glanced at my watch. I had twenty minutes to get back to work.
Yellowbone: “I’m guessing you have to be somewhere.”
Me (standing): “Yeah…back at work.”
Yellowbone: “Ok cool. It was nice seeing you. Hey give me your number. Let’s stay in touch.”
I gave Yellowbone my number and started walking to the parking lot. Once I got to the parking lot I immediately felt guilty about giving her my number. And that guilt stayed with me for the rest of the day and the next day.
In between listening to my conscience, Yellowbone’s text messages began hitting my phone. At first I ignored them, but then on Friday I finally responded to her text to meet at the same mall on my lunch break. I showed up determined to tell Yellowbone to kick rocks. I concluded that I’m happy with Sapphire, and I’m not going do anything to jeopardize our relationship.
Yellowbone: “Why haven’t you responded to any of my text messages?”
Me: “I’m going to me honest with you. I’m with a beautiful woman who I love. She’s going to be my wife. I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to see or speak to each other.”
Yellowbone stared at me for a moment.
Yellowbone: “We can’t even be friends?!”
Me: “NO! And no offense, but you are the last person I need in my life. I’m not trying to hurt you but our time…or whatever you want to call it…has come and gone. I’m happy and I wish you nothing but happiness. It’s best you go your way….and I’ll go mine.”
I wish I could say Yellowbone took it well, but that would be a lie. The text messages kept coming even after our meeting until finally I blocked her number.
As I said a few post ago, I’m fully committed to Sapphire. I made a mistake giving Yellowbone my number, but I quickly realized the error of my ways.