I’ve been missing in action from this blog, and that’s because I’ve been sitting around feeling bad about myself for being attracted to another woman who is NOT Sapphire. I mean I’ve really been feeling bad about myself. Not simply because I’m attracted to this woman, but because I’ve been sitting around thinking about fucking her!

This all started about a month ago. I attended a networking event here in Atlanta for black lesbians. I was standing alone at the bar drinking a glass of water when this woman approached me. When I set eyes on her my mouth literally dropped. She is dropped dead gorgeous. I mean one of the most beautiful black women I have ever set eyes on.

About her…

She is five feet even. I don’t know her exact weight, but she is average for her height. She is Carmel-skinned with short natural hair. When we met she was wearing a casual blue dress and heels with some modest jewelry. One of the things that caught my attention was her very sweet smell. The perfume she was wearing smelled so good and womanly.

As I would come to learn, this lady is from Jamaica. She’s lived in the USA for quite some time. She originally lived in New York, Florida, Texas, and Tennessee before finding herself in Georgia. She told me she is of African and Indian ancestry. For the sake of this blog her nickname will be Caribbean Queen.

I don’t know why I find myself so attracted to this woman outside of the physical (and yes, my attraction goes beyond that). She isn’t exactly my type otherwise. Caribbean Queen is 45 years old though she looks like she’s in her early thirties! She has a 14 year old daughter. I’m still learning things about her, but these two things would normally be a red flag for me. Yet despite being happy with Sapphire, and despite this information, I gave her my number that day at the bar.

We have talked every day since our initial meeting, and I’ve been feeling guilty as hell. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I have a good thing going with a good woman, and I’m sitting around thinking about fucking a dime middle aged single mother!

God, I must be getting old! You never would have heard this shit from me in my twenties. Never!

I don’t know what to do.

Pray for me.