Black lesbian support groups….as far as I can tell they don’t exist. In my thirty-three years on this earth I have only encountered one black lesbian support group, and its membership consisted of women old enough to be my mother and grandma. It was an internet forum where the members never met and only discussed community events etc. Therefore, it was of no use to me as a young black woman.
When I was 20 years old I was a student at Spelman College right here in Atlanta. I’d just come out of the most severe depression of my life. It was the first time in over a year I’d given myself an opportunity to heal. It was also the first year I had my car in Atlanta because Spelman did not allow freshman to have cars.
I was coming to terms with my sexuality. I’d always known I was gay, but now I was growing into accepting it as part of me. I decided to get on the internet, and look for support groups for gay people in Atlanta. I ran across a non-profit. I can’t tell you the name of the nonprofit today because I don’t remember it. The nonprofit’s website advertised several supports groups for gays and lesbians. One such group was specifically for black women. I noted the date and time of their next meeting and decided to make a trip to their headquarters.
When I arrived at this nonprofit a polite white man greeted me at the door. I was early and he advised me to make myself comfortable in an area that resembled a lobby of sorts. I don’t know if this gentleman thought I was a teenager or what, but I was soon joined by a group of young black kids who were all obviously gay. I was taken aback by their presence because these were some really young kids. I don’t think they were any older than thirteen years old.
After thirty minutes I got up from my seat, and found the white guy who greeted me. I asked him about the black lesbian support group that was advertised on their website. That’s when he informed me that they do host support groups, but no one ever shows up to the one for black lesbians.
I was heartbroken.
I left that nonprofit and never returned. I also never sought out another black lesbian support group though the desire was still there.
I want to create the support group I wish I had when I was 20 years old. There is no better place to create it than here in Atlanta. I asked people in my Facebook group why we, black lesbians, don’t have support groups and I was told because we don’t have the motivation to create or support them. Just think about that for a second…
When the AIDS epidemic was popping off in the 1980s white gay men wasted no time organizing, starting support groups, raising money, and rallying politicians. When white gays and lesbians believe in a cause they get together and rally around it.
Why the fuck can’t black lesbians do this?
I want an answer.
I know we are a very small group of people, but I don’t understand why we can’t come together to support each other for anything. Just think how discouraging this is to people like me who WANT to promote change, but get hit with crickets from the folks we are trying to help.
I want an answer. Either comment below, on Facebook, or email me.